I think… visually speaking, what turns us (or just me? ^_^) on about an avatar is the perfect ratio of real life beauty standards mixed with scandalousness not permissible in reality. Any glance in most places in SL tells you that the standards for bodily beauty that exist IRL are sustainted for the most part in SL: large breasts, hour glass shape, long eyelashes, full lips for women, angular faces, muscular torsos for men (being a guy I guess I can say for more women standards XD). But what’s appealing about SL, and therefore about an avatar, is you can dress up this avatar in sexual, sensuous ways usually not possible IRL except in the most private of circumstances. A naked body with only ribbons and leather straps covering the private parts… in SL, you can go almost anywhere in that kind of clothing. I think alot of people find that sexy.

Okay, so I’m just rehashing the tired cliche argument: you can do things in SL you can’t do IRL.

Got your message. Congrats.

I’m taking a small hiatus from sl. Hoping that after a while, I’ll sort of re-discover what I liked about it at the start.

Blixa: Hey, nice to hear from you. I was wondering where you had disappeared to. See ya soon, perhaps. And much thanks.

Vincent: What you explained relates to taboo infringement, and that definitely gives rise to titillation. Like you said, many avatars in SL are skimpy on the clothing. I’ve seen quite a few practically naked at in-world dance clubs, in fact. Bad Girls is one of the places that springs to mind. Have you been there? If not, you should check it out. You’d probably really dig it. I do.

[…] * Vincent Doctorow (who commented in this post): “I think… visually speaking, what turns us (or just me? ^_^) on about an avatar is the perfect ratio of real life beauty standards mixed with scandalousness not permissible in reality. Any glance in most places in SL tells you that the standards for bodily beauty that exist IRL are sustained for the most part in SL: large breasts, hour glass shape, long eyelashes, full lips for women, angular faces, muscular torsos for men (being a guy I guess I can say for more women standards XD). But what’s appealing about SL, and therefore about an avatar, is you can dress up this avatar in sexual, sensuous ways usually not possible IRL except in the most private of circumstances. A naked body with only ribbons and leather straps covering the private parts… in SL, you can go almost anywhere in that kind of clothing. I think a lot of people find that sexy.” […]

Always the trouble-maker , I personally feel the answer to your “Why avatars?” quetion, Noche, has more to do with the fact that they’re specifically not real. Obviously, not everyone finds avatars more appealing than RL people, but for those who do… I can’t help but think there’s something attractive about knowing that the body you’re looking at (highly mutable and controllable, yes) is merely a mask (in some senses, at least). That disconnect — that further seperation between people — can itself be hot.

That’s a very highly subjective answer, and there’s certainly absolutely nothing wrong with that, obviously. (And you even acknowledge the fact that it’s subjective, it seems, when you said “I personally feel…”)

I do find it intriguing that this is the second time you’ve referred to that ‘disconnect,’ and that you find it a turn-on. I think you mentioned it in a recent post on your site? I am trying to better understand what you’re trying to describe. Are you referring to objectification? Seems like. If so, all I can say is, yummy.

If I wanted to get a little more metaphysical about all this, I can say that one of the things I like about interacting with avatars is that the people who assume those digital personae feel a lot more comfortable about dropping the mask.

Ooooh, I just love it when that mask comes off. I have alluded to this in one way or another on countless occasions on this site, including that post I made a while back on dirty talk: it’s a huge turn-on when people REALLY tell you what they’re thinking — what REALLY lurks in those dark corners of our minds. And that goes back to the human connection factor that I mentioned here.

Human connection doesn’t always have to involve getting all mushy. Humans are, after all, animals — something people too often neglect to remember. And one of the greatest turn-ons of all is a mutual acknowledgment of that fact.

Is it any wonder I wear horns in Second Life?

“If I wanted to get a little more metaphysical about all this, I can say that one of the things I like about interacting with avatars is that the people who assume those digital personae feel a lot more comfortable about dropping the mask.”

But that’s because the mask exists in the first place.

Of course, like you say, it’s definitely a subjective issue, but my feeling is that real-life sex leaves us vulnerable–emotionally, physically. Sex online, because we can wear “masks,” because we have distance between us in all sense of the word, in short because of a disconnect, makes us feel safe in our solitude. And that is a turn-on.

But that’s because the mask exists in the first place.

Alas, the age-old truism that the wearing of the mask helps us drop the mask.

Regardless, what is it, Bonnie, that you look for in an avatar, specifically? What hooks you in, for example (beyond the overall anonymity, or disconnect)? Do your criteria reflect your physical world ideal (like I think it does for a lot of people)? Or do you just cyber to do research, and not derive any genuine enjoyment out of it?

Inquiring minds want to know…

I’ve noticed something in SL I find interesting. I mostly hang (by the wrists or ankles) with the other girls (since most of the males I’ve met are of the “U wan 2 fuk” school of conversational advancement) at The Bondage Ranch and I’ve noticed that they are all taller to MUCH taller than me. When I made my Avatar I tried to make her about my size but tallness seems VERY popular. I haven’t bumped into you yet in SL and I am curious how tall your Avatar is…

Tess

My av is relatively petite, but that doesn’t seem to hinder my in-world popularity. One thing I’ve noticed is that it seems that Second Life dommes tend to be taller, while the subs tend to be shorter. But that’s certainly not always the case, as I know a number of taller subs.

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