Lately, I have this subtle but persistent feeling that my Second Life avatar Cheri Horton — who is undeniably an extension of me — is in the embryonic stage of morphing into a female version of Caligula.
No, seriously. I’ve got all kinds of racy and socially controversial scenarios unfolding inside my head as I venture around in-world. I think what has teased out these thoughts and feelings from inside me is the promise that I can indulge a smorgasbord of primitive urges with zero direct consequences, provided I am mindful of in-world rules and obtain the consent of any devious cohorts.
I thought twice about making this post for a couple of reasons, the first being a fear of tipping my hand to such a degree that the thousands of people who visit here would be getting a a pretty revealing glimpse inside my innermost thoughts. That’s not altogether a comfortable feeling. Secondly, I thought a post like this would lean too far toward being confessional, when I don’t want this site to devolve into something so sappy.
But ultimately, I figured if I did not write down what’s been zooming through my noggin while unleashed in the digital environs of SL, it would be serving to defeat the very purpose of why I maintain Apogeevr to begin with, which is to explore online sexuality, particularly in Second Life, and hopefully nurture a better understanding of our real-life carnality, as well as our darker inclinations. Well, mine anyway.
Anyhow, as one minor example that I may be starting to emulate the infamous Roman ruler, while I was enjoying time at the Goth-themed Sweet Oblivion dance club on Transylvania last night, I had a fantasy of having sex in the lounge area as all the other avatars grooved to the pulsating sounds of electronic music some 20 virtual feet away from me. No doubt, Sweet Oblivion can do that to you. It has an atmosphere that can easily rouse a libido. In fact, I was rather swept away by the adjoining Talamasca Reading Room’s ambience, with its barely tamed blaze roaring away inside the fireplace, and the faint glow of light seeping through its lovely stained glass windows. I entertained thoughts of being fucked right then and there, by none other than darkchyld Maeterlinck. Since she wasn’t around, I began to wish that just anybody would take me and quench my sudden thirst for fucking in public.
Interestingly, it was the first time I had experienced such feelings of erotic longing inside a virtual environment while in the absence of a lover. I mean, when I first began delving into my Second Life sexual escapades, my chief motivator was curiosity. I had more of an objective outlook. But my thoughts inside Sweet Oblivion were stirred primarily by sheer lust.
In a more obvious example of my increasingly debauched sensibilities within SL, I have been preoccupied by the thought of organizing group activities in-world that would involve the consensual torture of victims, while a select group of avatars simultaneously enjoys uninhibited sex. I mean, I have a good mind to purchase a nice wad of Linden cash and get myself a mansion somewhere in order to host these sorts of events. Ya see what I’m saying?
I’m kind of a dark character to begin with in real life, so these sorts of fantasies really don’t surprise me too much. I think I may merely be taken aback a bit at the notion that I may actually be able to entertain these sinister scenarios, something that I had never expected that I could do. I tell ya, it would definitely be a cathartic experience. And I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that there are probably many others out there whose brows have been raised in devilish provocation by this post. You know who you are!
There’s nothing hotter than the mutual acknowledgement of a really vile, filthy, unmentionable fantasy.
” … what is of the filthiest, the most infamous, the most forbidden, ’tis that which best rouses the intellect … ’tis that which always causes us most deliciously to discharge.” — Marquis De Sade, Philosophy in the Bedroom
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