Until we (almost) meet again…

From left, sex therapist Marty Klein, author and sex educator Violet Blue, game designer Jeb Havens and Black Love Interactive founder Kelly Rued.

Here I was all bummed out that I missed my opportunity to meet Violet Blue at the Sex in Video Games Conference, because she was constantly busy for the few hours she attended the event, and I was therefore hesitant to approach her and say, “Hey, yeah, um, hi Violet. I read your blog and stuff …”

But now I don’t feel half as bad anymore since it turns out she may not have been in the greatest of moods anyway, specifically after she got through with her panel, Turning on the Player. (See here for details on panels and speaker bios.)

Meanwhile, I had a chance to take part in a couple of cool interviews recently. The pieces should be published later this week and early next week. Stay tuned for the links. :) Also, I was recently asked to sit in on a panel dealing with sex in virtual worlds. The group will be discussing the topic as part of the Second Life Community Convention, set for Aug. 18-20 in San Francisco. I haven’t yet committed to it, but it sounds like fun. We shall see…


  1. Comment by Scott Jon Siegel on June 14, 2006 6:19 am

    Wow. Violet Blue made a few good points in her rant (the same few she made at the conference), but overall she really comes off as a huge ass. Her general attitude at the conference hinted at this, and her rant confirms it.

    I get that her panel was a little dull (and that the moderator was being skeevy), but she basically assaults everyone she heard speak at the conference who wasn’t a good friend of hers.

    And what exactly was Sheri Graner Ray’s crime? Besides playing down to a largely male audience that, frankly, needed to be played down to in order to get her points across? We can’t all be sex geniuses like the great Violet Blue, and some might appreciate Sheri’s *brief* refresher (Ms. Blue stayed for less than ten minutes of an hour-long lecture before abruptly walking out, so she clearly didn’t get to see where Sheri was going).

    Apparently nobody is qualified to talk about sex except the unsinkable Violet Blue. Sorry, Vi. We’ll all be good and remember that next time. Thus ends my rant. -sj

  2. Comment by Noche on June 14, 2006 10:14 am

    All I could say is, Who knew there was so much drama out there? I certainly have no personal interest in becoming involved in any sideline skirmishes in this instance (and that’s not saying that you do). But I will say this: I thought the conference went pretty well for a first-of-its-kind event. I thought it provided some useful information, specifically for those who lacked any substantial background on what cybersex was all about, and who hadn’t a clear idea as to what users really wanted, yet were in the midst of either making or planning initial forays into the genre of MMOEGs.

    Additionally, the networking opportunities were decent, I thought – although I don’t necessarily make it a point to be up on the “who’s who” in the industry (or industries), so I can’t comment knowledgably as far as how representative the crowd was.

    As far as Sheri’s talk, I missed that one. I think I was in the lobby at that point posting my Phoenix Linden interview. Then I was off to interview the guy from RedLightCenter, and then to grab me some lunch.

    Very nice meeting you, by the way!

  3. Comment by Scott Jon Siegel on June 14, 2006 2:55 pm

    Very nice meeting you as well, Noche!

  4. Comment by Kelly on June 15, 2006 6:07 am

    I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved- I didn’t want the drama either. I have no idea where Violet’s version of the events come from, and am too much of a gentleman to speculate.

    I already sent her a note trying to set things straight about my “dissing her” to get back to the con I flew out to see (no reply yet). *shrug* I guess I was supposed to miss the ethics panel and chat her up or something. She did stop me on my way to the bar and I was in a hurry to get back and see the ethics panel.

    I don’t know how anyone as old as her could take something that innocent so personally though… junior high wasn’t even that harsh (though I did dress like her in high school- still living down the hot topic wardrobe and betty page haircut, lol). I thought it was cute that she thought saying “fuck” was shocking or something. I can’t help but wonder if she’s actually way younger than I previously thought based on that rant (which the SiG blog linked to as “coverage” of the event, har). In any event, I’m sorry she was so easily provoked. I really like her blog and don’t remember “arguing” or any static- the rant was a total shock. I left the con thinking she was swell, though I didn’t talk to her much due to wanting to see the actual con. ;p

    Anyways, it was nice meeting you, Noche. You’re one of the rare people I’ve met out of game that’s more comely in person than your SL avatar.

  5. Comment by Torley Linden on June 15, 2006 1:41 pm

    CheriNoche, this comment is off-topic for this entry, but I wanted to say I enjoyed reading about you in the New Scientist article!

  6. Comment by Noche on June 15, 2006 11:13 pm

    Thank you, Kelly. I appreciate that. You might have already caught on (since a few posts down, I called you “enchanting” and everything) that I was equally impressed by you, as well as your knowledge of what you do professionally. Makes me confident that your project Rapture Online will do well.

  7. Comment by Noche on June 15, 2006 11:24 pm

    Torley: Thank you much for the link! But I must admit I didn’t think too highly of that piece as far as accuracy and quality. I guess I had higher expectations for a publication like New Scientist.

    Example: We stop to chat for a few minutes about the architecture of the building, before she takes me to bed, undresses me, and we have sex.

    The fact of the matter is, she undressed herself. Is there even a way to undress another avatar in Second Life, I wonder?

    Also, I invested a considerable amount of time with that journalist, but the story only included a few sound-bite quotes, and to boot, I think the writer in a couple of instances took certain liberties to make those quotes sound juicier than they were in the initial context of the interview.

    Oh yeah, I edited your comment so I could embed that long link into text, because I am anal like that. :)

  8. Comment by Noche on June 15, 2006 11:49 pm

    Torley: Forgot to mention — Cheri Noche? That’s got a certain ring to it. Sounds downright exotic and appetizing… I like.

  9. Comment by Andrea Fryer on June 19, 2006 4:38 pm

    From the perspective of a person who was there from start to finish, the report of the SIVG conference in Miss Blue’s blog leaves me blinking in astonishment. I truly cannot recognise her view of how things went, for I saw things as going well and maturely, without any “dissing” or arguing what so ever. Kelly’s responses were polite and objective throughout the whole conference to the point of leaving me mighty impressed.

    I can only assume that miss Blue felt the need to blog -something- about her appearance at the conference, yet was left with little to write about (could it be because she only popped in and out quickly?) - thus, had to juice things up with some nasty gossip to make her article worth reading. Well it is an interesting read, but not in the way she intended. What a disappointment.

  10. Comment by Noche on June 20, 2006 12:12 am

    Hey Andrea, what’s up? I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to you in San Fran, but I was going to e-mail you expressing what a pleasure it was to meet you at the conference. It was very cool spending time with you there and getting to know you a bit. Hope we can hang out again at some point. Or perhaps we’ll cross paths in a virtual world somewhere. :)

  11. Comment by Andrea Fryer on June 21, 2006 8:20 am

    *waves at Noche cheerfully*

    Hiya Noche :-) . Finally getting over my jetlag and have energy to play games again. Building a Greek village in Second Life and trying out City of Villains. I really should write something in my blog about the conference too but gaming keeps luring me away from writing ;-) .

    It was a delight and pleasure to meet you as well Noche, and we should definitely meet up in Second Life some time. Mind if Ferocia adds Cheri to her friends list? Oh and hey, congrats on the invite to that conference!

  12. Comment by Noche on June 22, 2006 7:02 am


    Yeah, I don’t mind at all if Ferocia adds me. That would be cool.

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