The sterilization of dirty talk

I hate to be shortchanged when it comes to dirty talk. Whether in a real or virtual setting, I just don’t want to feel as if I am listening to a supermarket-bought romance novel being read aloud. And when this sort of thing occurs during the heat of virtual passion, it’s a bit more of a bummer given how essential good old-fashioned imaginative chat can be for counteracting the unevocative aspects of desktop cybersex, eg. primitively rendered virtual environments and otherwise unconvincing screen displays — and of course, the nonexistent tactility of it all.

Bland sex talk can be attributed partially to the fact that in a good number of cases, canned comments are only a click away in Second Life for users who employ text-ready genitalia. These include the penises, testicles and vaginas, the assess — and maybe even breasts — that can come equipped with a menu of remarks avatars can utter by proxy while they are engaging sexually.

But I am not one to condemn or demonize (virtual) objects as the culprits. Instead, I am more apt to cite actual people when appropriating blame. They are the ones behind the objects. And in this case, they are the ones who may be either: 1) Too uncreative to compose comments that are arousing enough to make a partner blurt out, “Oh my gawd, that is SO fuckin’ hot.” 2) Too inhibited — or just too out of touch with their darker side — to say something stimulating or venture into taboo territory via the written word.

In light of this, my question is: What else do people need to loosen up? Isn’t the anonymity of a virtual world avatar enough to help us drop the inhibitions that plague us in the physical world, specifically in a sexual context?

But perhaps I set myself up for disappointment. I mean, I have my own distinct take on what dirty talk should consist of. I think verbal communication during avatar sex (or even sex in real life, for that matter) should open doors to places inside the psyche that otherwise remain barricaded and hidden. I think one of the best perks of virtual environments is that they provide a great venue for such cathartic expression.

Just as an R-rated example (if you want the real hot stuff, you’ll have to hook up with me in-world), I remember having virtual sex with an SL resident (Avatar X) who was having a lover’s spat with an in-world sweetheart (Avatar Y). So on the spur of the moment, while Avatar X slid up and down my strap on, I told Avatar X to talk badly about Avatar Y. And I told Avatar X to imagine Avatar Y was actually present in the room while the two of us had fun at Avatar Y’s expense. Indeed, I can be real naughty like that.

So, I am largely unmoved when I read lines like “shivers in excitement while feeling the thrust of Cheri’s strap on.” Surely, we are more primal than that. Tell me what’s really going on inside those hidden corners.


  1. Comment by Cinomed Tweak on April 24, 2006 7:28 pm

    *giggle* oh my…

  2. Comment by Cinomed Tweak on May 1, 2006 1:33 pm

    So let me ask,
    Are you more interested in nasty talk than any emotes?
    Or would you like them both?
    The varying methods of cyber in SL astound me sometimes.

  3. Comment by Noche on May 1, 2006 11:55 pm

    Are you more interested in nasty talk than any emotes?

    Heck, yes. It just adds so much more intimacy and excitement. But it’s got to be sincere. Otherwise, may as well just use the emotes.

  4. Comment by Cinomed Tweak on May 7, 2006 7:49 am

    *makes mental note*
    Who knows… we may end up finally meeting….

  5. Comment by zaq curry on June 6, 2006 2:11 pm


    the 3D nature of SecondLife is a great backdrop, but it fails to excite the sexual imagination, just like a naked person is merely naked, there needs to be something “more” to the interchange for it to be exciting and thrilling.

    I agree; people are either a)inhibited or b)uncreative

  6. Comment by Noche on June 16, 2006 8:44 pm

    Hi zaq. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had a chance to respond. I am curious to know what sort of thing you have in mind when you refer to the “something more” that needs to be added to enhance arousal.

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